Observations: Catfish and Selfies

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Dating is exhausting sometimes.

It can be so tough to wade through the expectations, hurting others’ feelings, unrequited feelings, and of course rejection. Not to mention the pressures of putting your best foot forward.

That said, and as tired as I can get with all the aforementioned rigmarole, I have learned a lot about life and happiness via dating.

Most recently, I learned the value of taking a good selfie.

One gent with whom I had dinner told me that despite all the push from dating apps like Tinder for us to use the absolute best of photographic evidence for us being attractive beyond all the others, he simply utilizes the five or six most recent selfies he has taken.

I laughed a little at the thought of the last time I had taken a selfie… because it wasn’t just one. I had definitely taken five to five dozen to get the best light, eye-openness, implication of chiseled jawline… it certainly wasn’t me aiming for the most candid I could be in a photograph.

Then I thought about his pictures—they looked natural and certainly they were handsome enough that I swiped right. Most importantly, they accurately portrayed the person I met for dinner.

I genuinely liked the idea of presenting just that… authenticity.

Turns out that so often when we present the “best” of the several dozen selfies we’ve taken at any given time, we’re actually catfishing ourselves.

Sure, go for the best artistry in your self-portraiture, if that’s your thing, but I think it’s a surprisingly refreshing approach to just take the one. Just be you.

In the course of a date with me, people will see the ample wonky, scrunched, and cartoonish faces I’m capable of making in any given lively conversation… so why not present whichever of those may show up first when I’m visiting some picture-worthy backdrop?

It’s me… it’s authentic.

I don’t actually think there’s anything terribly wrong with wanting your best photo on your dating profile, but I guess I’m just saying my definition of a good selfie, for me at least, has changed.

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