Dear Martha: bah humbug!

by MARTHA

Dear Martha,

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat, and I say “Bah Humbug!”

This year has been more overwhelming than any so far. I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. I started working full-time. My grandmother died, and so did a cousin I was close with. My lease came up, so I had to move. I crashed my car and had to fight with the insurance company to cover it (they did). But, I’m exhausted. I don’t care about traditions, or holidays, or trees, or lights this year.

How can I tell people I love that being a part of things is more than I can bare? I know my mother expects support, it will be the first Christmas without her mother. My aunt and cousins have said they want to see me, but being with them is going to break my heart. I miss my BF and I know it sounds dumb, but I even miss my car.

I wish I could take my two week holiday break and hibernate in my place with hot tea and fuzzy socks. But, instead, I will be expected to attend all the family functions. I will be expected to shop and exchange gifts. I will be expected to make food and bring it to multiple events. The thought of it is almost too much. I know people have it worse than me, but I can only do so much.

How do keep the holidays from crushing me?

What to do?

Scrooge

Dear Scrooge,

You need a better handle. I don’t like the one you gave yourself. I like something more like “The Hibernator,” or “Comfortable Introvert,” or maybe, “In Need Of A Break.”

Of COURSE you are not feeling the holidays this year. Too many hard things have happened! You don’t feel like celebrating! I swear, no idiom is more accurate than, “When it rains, it pours.” I know, personally, every few years I get a year where the sh** just does NOT stop hitting the fan. My friend and I have an inside joke regarding the matter.

You: “This year has been so hard.”

Me and my friend: “Why, what happened?”

You: *unrolling a giant scroll listing all the terrible things.*

The key is to take care of yourself. You must tell those you love that being part of things is more than you can bear. The bounty of this honesty is two-fold: you get the much needed down time you are craving and you give your loved ones the opportunity to show you their support. If you’re anything like me, the latter part of that sentence might make you squirm a bit. Too bad. Their support will feel good when you get it, trust me.

Take your two-week holiday break and hibernate in your place with hot tea and fuzzy socks. Don’t attend all the family functions. Don’t shop and exchange gifts. Don’t make food for multiple events. Firmly and politely decline.

You do you, Comfy Hibernating Introvert In Need Of A Break. And don’t for ONE SECOND feel bad about it.

Yours respectfully,

Martha

If you have a question you’d like Martha to answer, please email it to DearMartha@theUtahBee.com. To read past advice from Martha go here.