Considering Curiosity
by DAISY THOMAS
It’s quite natural to be curious, in fact one should very much be curious about the world, with all of its beauty and wonder. From youth, children are naturally curious about their bodies and how they differ from each other, to finding oneself suddenly on the dating market after a decade or two (or more) and curious about what another person’s body would be / feel like now. Whether burgeoning, senescent or somewhere in-between, curiosity around human sexuality is one topic that underscores the majority of existence.
Public dialogue has certainly honed its focus on sexuality, at once liberating and shaming whichever camp(s) one finds themselves in. From CNN to ESPN, sexuality is a hot topic, but one that is continuously framed from an unhealthy -- or at least not healthy perspective. Sex sells and we continue a misogynist, consumerist cancel culture, distracting and pacifying ourselves as technology continues to ease life’s burdens (for some). Sex is just a swipe or tap away.
Last year’s worldwide shut-down led to sharp increases in horrific acts of human trafficking, domestic violence, child physical and sexual abuse, etc., but other harmful issues like the pandemic of porn. We would be kidding ourselves to think that children with any form of internet access have not seen something one could consider pornographic online. Spending the last year at home has had many curious kid wandering the internet aimlessly, idly spending time in Minecraft or Among Us, before sexual curiosity remembers the adults are on Zoom, entangled in conference meetings that continue to spend the first fifteen minutes adjusting technical (user error) issues. When opportunities knock … kids get curious.
The unfortunate side of the internet has created instant access to a world that even the most seasoned of us find shocking and/or appalling, titillating or exhilarating. Without monitoring and open, on-going dialogue with our children and teenagers about healthy sexual attitudes and habits, they will simply look up terminology and mimic their favorite Tik-Tokers or Kardashian-Jenner, only to continue to foster a culture of sexual shame and ridiculous, sometimes humiliating expectations for all involved parties.
Some of us may have been age-appropriately speaking with our kids about sex since they were waddling around in diapers, but some of us just barely made it through the birds and the bees talk, running through the facts like we were in an old Micro Machines ad; how would one even broach discussing pornography with our kids? Age and maturity are a factor, but begin by asking if they have questions about anything they’ve seen online.
While young children should always be monitored while using the internet, we all know that bathroom breaks, other kids get into messes, and ringing doorbells happen. There are apps for your devices to help control access, but as children get more adept at coding and programming, and as we caregivers continue to age and desire less and less to keep up with the newest updates, breakthrough porn viewing may/will happen. Better they have discussions with you that are awkward now than expect their lives to include daily “facials.”
Without traveling down a Freudian pathway of devious and dark undertones of early animation and the artists who hand inked them, Walt Disney once said, “We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
Let’s try to ensure we do what we can to keep those paths as hazard-free as we can while we help our kids develop the skills and wherewithal to head out into the world.