I Kissed a Girl
by DAISY THOMAS
Back in the mid 1990’s Jill Sobule hit the MTV airwaves with her catchy tune, I Kissed a Girl, giving voice to a long rite of many teen girls’ exploring their burgeoning sexuality with one of their besties. Sometimes the girls collapsed into giggles, excited to try their following smooches on their latest crush, while others found themselves with butterflies or panicked at how much they wanted practice to continue. Or not.
From Mildred “Barrie” Berryman to Demi Lovato, some women have always been open about their sexuality or about exploring their own sexuality beyond the binary in spite of cultural norms, and many modern teens openly opt out of labels altogether or adopt pansexual as theirs. Women’s autonomy and ownership over their sexual identities and sexuality has rooted firmly in younger generations, which hopefully will only continue to increase the energy and excitement of electoral politics — the biggest blockade to modernizing the current world we’re existing in and building a future where all of us can live in safety, dignity, and respect, with laws applied justly, equally, and humanely.
However, not everyone is thrilled with people expanding our understandings of the world to learn more about who we are and where and how we fit into the world, beyond the template that’s been laid out. Former South Jordan mayor and current Salt Lake County Councilman David Alvord made national news and had to issue an apology for a Facebook post blaming “the left” for stating, “They won’t be happy until we each have light brown ski, exactly alike, (or else there will remain someone whiter than another). They won’t be happy until there are no males, no females, and we each have the same muscle mass, brains, talents, and energy … They won’t be happy until no one smiles more than another, no one laughs more than another. They won’t be happy until there are no jokes, since most humor derives from human foibles in one way or another … At some point, we have to live our lives and tune them out. Not to say they haven’t done some good things in the past, but this equity movement if taken to its logical conclusion will ruin life for everyone.”
Like with the spectrum of sexuality that has always existed, such attitudes are nothing new. Although the County Councilman from District 2 later stated that hispost was “pure hyperbole”, in Utah, not adhering to strict moral guidelines contributes to much of the underlying tension that surrounds the Salt Lake Valley. Utah’s conservative reputation, which while clearly modeled and influenced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also adheres to most of the rest of conservative white American Christianity’s social ideology, immortalizing the image of the traditional, all-American ideal and image for the Baby Boomer generation with wholesome, family-friendly television shows successive generations would catch on Nick at Nite or when home sick from school.
But many of us, while entertained by old black and white tv shows didn’t / don’t do so well with such black and white thinking, and the lack of multicultural, multi-ethnic, and sexual and neurodiversity left some of us wondering not just where we belonged, but if we did. Having a picture to be able to envision ourselves reaching our full potential, open to opportunities and possibilities, lets us know we aren’t alone.
Rachel Slawson made Miss USA history for being its first openly bisexual competitor, recently shared on her Instagram that she will be serving as the longest running Miss Utah USA, making her one of the most, if not the most, publically visible bisexual Utahn. Slawson also continues to advocate for bi-polar disorder and mental health through workshops she leads at the I Am Why Project, issues she, like many Utahns, lives with. Lovato, who a few years back sought refuge and rehabilitation in Utah’s mountains, told Glamour magazine in a recent interview, “I know who I am and what I am, but I’m just waiting until a specific timeline to come out to the world as what I am,” she said.
Sharing our stories matters. Our triumphs, our losses, our pain, and our love, matter because like all energy, can be converted into something powerful — strength for another to continue on. It is what we give away as part of the freedom, privilege, and responsibility of being true to ourselves as we move through our lives, and part of the “pursuit of happiness” that all people are inherently granted at birth.
The inability to explore, let alone question, one’s sexuality and roles in society in a safe, healthy, and age-appropriate manner continues to reinforce rape and blame culture, keeping us steeped in a society whose most profitable exports are shame, fear, secrecy, and guilt. Despite an increase of education and discourse, legislation and public tolerance, and public figures discussing their own explorations of navigating the sexuality spectrum, attitudes like those expressed like Councilman Alvord will only continue to grow the longer we tolerate inequality, disrespect, and release our scarcity mindset.