Women Don’t Get Horny
Just kidding. When it comes to arousal, women get horny just as frequently as men do, maybe even more so. We have needs and wants and crave pleasure. Sexual desire is highly stigmatized in Utah, but there is nothing shameful about wanting sex and we must normalize appropriate sexual dialogue. Our reproductive organs are powerhouses; it's where we create life, give and receive pleasure -- and some say, which I agree with, that our yonis, the Sanskrit word for female genitals, are where magic originates from.
Owning our sexuality is to own our power, thus to know ourselves. The disrespect of power of the feminine is the real shame. We are divine, sexual beings capable of giving and sustaining life. How cool! I hope that one day the energies of men and women become balanced and honored for their unique attributes. We can do this by re-connecting our hearts, bodies, minds, and sexuality. We can discover our sexual wildness and respect others’ and our own personal boundaries.
Female Sexuality
Women’s sexuality is a powerful force indeed. Throughout history women's sexuality has been either revered or feared, encouraged or denied. Women’s sexuality shifted with the rise of patriarchal societies, Christianity, and the struggle between political and economic power. The story of Adam and Eve often gets interpreted as Women were the cause of original sin. The widespread belief that women were easily seduced by the devil and ready to drag men down to hell with them.
This belief system brought on the intense fervor of the femicidal witch-killings. Witch trials may make fun horror movies, but the reality is that women were killed for being sexual beings. “All witchcraft comes from carnal lust, which in women is insatiable.” - Malleus Maleficarum (The Hammer of Witches) Catholic Church’s official witch hunting manual- 1487. Women have been, and are still, being taught to hide their sexuality.
Sex Positivity
The first step towards sex positivity is to begin the practice of getting comfortable talking about sex, celebrating sex, and being more open about pursuing one’s own erotic potential. This conversation can also be broadened to a knowing that being sexual does not define our worthiness, it is a normal part of life, and we need sex just like we need to sleep and eat. We have made some progress in the recent decades. For example, female ejaculation is actually ejacuate, and not pee. Female ejaculation is something that many women can do -- with or without practice. Sex positivity also comes from respecting all that our bodies can do; giving birth, menstruating, breastfeeding, and giving and receiving pleasure. Learning to love all of ourselves can be a long and difficult journey, but a journey that would be well worth exploring.
It is not weird or wrong for a woman to have sexual desires and stigma surrounding female sexuality must end. On your next commute, listen to this BYU Podcast. Over the span of five-hours , the podcast interviews a woman who was kicked out of BYU for having sex, while her male student counterpart was allowed to stay. The listen is heart-wrenching, but she opens up a lot about ending sexual stigma and shame, especially when it comes to a woman’s sexuality. Most women have been taught to hide their sexuality, but the more we can own our own power, the sooner we can move away from a society that controls women by deciding how and when its okay for them to have sex.
Ultimately, women get horny and having sexual desire is as simple as biology. To deny that is to deny science, a common trait within this timeline we find ourselves in.