Private Parts
When I was about two-and-a-half years old, I was outside on the side of our apartment building with the next door neighbor boy of the same age (it was the ‘80s, what can I say?) The pair of us were trying desperately to figure out why he had a hose-looking thing hanging off of him and why I didn’t. Needless to say, our self-study inquiry was abruptly halted by yelling in multiple languages and directions, as our caretakers reprimanded and grabbed us, marching us back inside to our respective apartments.
“Good girls don’t show ANYTHING” and “No, no! Tu no muestras pene” still floats through my mind at times, giving me quite a chuckle.
Many people have similar stories of their childhood developmental wonder of genital discovery around two to three-ish, most often a product of previous generations’ inability to disentangle cultural sexual shame and judgment with bodily curiosity and autonomy. The current breeding generation seems to be working hard at creating much better communication channels with their children around sex and sexuality, although many still struggle with their own sense of shame.
When one is taught not to touch one’s body, there is an underlying layer of shame that then covers that being’s sexual development, creating negative consequences. Understanding your body, knowing what it looks and feels like is necessary for sexual discovery, intimacy, and sexual expression, yes, but even more so for your overall health. You only get one body and if you aren’t taking care of every aspect of it, who will?
That means that regardless of what society or certain cultures dictate, your body is your own and as much as possible, it is on you to ensure you are operating as optimally as possible. This includes your sex organs, so if you have not yet grabbed a mirror and pulled an Evelyn Couch in Fried Green Tomatoes, today is your opportunity. Make sure to note and monitor any birthmarks or moles for growth, and report to your healthcare provider, if there is any concern.